I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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