She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
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I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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