I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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