every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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