Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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