I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
