I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
