dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
