I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
