Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We have started to decorate penises.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I want to be your penis for a week.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
