He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
