if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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