We're facebook friends in real life
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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