I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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