i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You pole danced in your parka.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Randomize
