If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
