sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
