well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
