I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
