Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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