So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
