I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she peed on how many people?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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