Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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