I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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