You were right. It hurts to walk today.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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