non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
