In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
