We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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