my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
