How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
