im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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