she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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