He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
