Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
