On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
