fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
