i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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