..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
