I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
