I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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