He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
