This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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