We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
