If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
