He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently you make a good broom.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
