eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
