We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize