So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You can't just leave with hair like that
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
