it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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