Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
