Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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