Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
