Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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