sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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