Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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