your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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