One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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