I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize